(Part 3 of my UnCommon Sense Series of rarely offered information,
opinions, and articles.)
The current collection of airline security
measures have irked me for a long time, but last Christmas it went way too far.
Time to rant.
Here's what happened: I am returning home from Christmas in
Halifax with three bottles of wine from my parents. The first was a
regular bottle of commercial Merlot. The second was some of my father's
own creation. The third was a very fine bottle of 20-year-old Australian
Shiraz which my father had re-decanted before giving it to me.
This is typical of the stupidity and inanity of the bone-headed people that come up with security regulations. When I asked what the issue was, I was told "We have no idea what is in those bottles, sir." And yet I can carry on water bottles and juice bottles (presumably filled with acid). Given those options with a twist off lid, is any terrorist going to choose to carry his liquid weaponry in a bottle that may only be opened with a corkscrew (that would have been confiscated before boarding)?! As for the 'sealed' bottle, any self-respecting home winemaker (and your average terrorist) knows that those plastic seals for wine bottles can be purchased at any winemaking store and applied with a hair dryer.
This was just one of those infuriating things that inconvenience everyone except the people they are targeted at. How many thousands of people have had nail files, scissors, and all manner of other things confiscated due to the misguided paranoia of a group of 'experts' who cannot come up with a better solution than to take things away from the general public. Hey, I fly a lot, and I have no more wish to fly into a building than the next person. To me the answer is trivial: Lock the Cockpit Door. Period. End of story. Sure, you should continue to take away the real guns, because those are generally a nuisance in a pressurized cabin, and 6" hunting knives are never a good idea with the high incidence of air rage. (And they wonder why that rate is going up...)
I was personally present during an airport lockdown caused by a small boy carrying a green see-through plastic nurf gun in his carry-on bag. Those are the toys that launch small foam cylinders about 8 feet. At the end of the crisis, the toy was taken away, but the boy was presented with compensation: a real police shoulder badge. Which of these two items might, in the right circumstances, represent a more credible threat to your security?!
The really frustrating part is that you have no idea what they might target next - not until your other bags are already checked, that is. I have had them take masking tape and string, but leave me with leather thongs, power cords, mouse cords, and shoelaces. Which do you think would make the better weapon or tool to tie someone down? They have taken 3" nail files, but left me with heavy 7" metal pens with a nice sharp point. Knives are forbidden but forks are okay. You can carry all the metal you like so long as it appears to be part of the skeleton of your briefcase - as if that can't be removed. [One reader of this rant reminded me that, in case you forget to bring an 'accepted' dangerous weapon, the beverage cans that they sometimes leave you with can easily be folded in half repeatedly until you have an excellent circular-blade hand knife (and one for your seatmate)]. It really doesn't take a whole lot of imagination, folks.
The bottom line is that the airline security policy makers completely missed the lessons from the World Trade Center attack: Lesson 1: Terrorists are not stupid. Lesson 2: The best way to stage a prolonged and devastating attack on the way of life in the West is to let the American government do it for you.
P.S. I did get the wine home. I simply went back and asked the ticket agent (who agreed that the 'new rule' was stupid) to check them through for me.
The foregoing is my opinion. You can send me yours by clicking here.